Haunting me – Auschwitz & Birkenau

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I wrote this on the evening after visiting Auschwitz & Birkenau and I felt that it needed to be shared. I was feeling a little ‘creeped out’ by the whole experience so excuse the mournful tone.

I’m having trouble sleeping tonight. Every time I close my eyes all I see are visions of Auschwitz & Birkenau scorched into the back of my eyelids. Today we visited two of the death camps that I’ve heard so much about. It felt so wrong that the sun was shining on this place, yet despite it being a bright and sunny day full of curious tourists I still felt an eery stillness walking around.

Before arriving there, I kind of felt it was a little wrong to visit a place which was the resting place of millions of Jews. Did people really get a kick out of this? I wondered. Now I’ve been there however, I can’t emphasise just how important it was to go and see the camp with my own eyes.

We need to remember. We need to be educated. We need to pay our respects for those who perished and the few who risked their lives for the sake of others.

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Inside one of the buildings at Auschwitz, there was a wall of photos of some of the men and women registered into the death camp. Some, though only having just arrived showed signs that they had been beaten; some wore a blank expression and some (and the ones that really got to me) were faces of men and women wearing genuine smiles with what seemed like no inclination of what was soon to happen to them.

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One of the gas chambers at Birkenau

Of about eight hundred jews who tried to escape, only about one hundred and fifty managed. It didn’t matter how long it took to search for an escaped prisoner, the Nazis would carry on searching even if it took a whole year.

We learnt about the medical experiments performed on the jews for various purposes and how a lot of the prisoners would end up physically handicapped and thus  would meet their end much faster because they could no longer work and were therefore deemed useless to the Nazis.

We learnt about Maximilian Kolbe, a Polish priest who died as a prisoner in Auschwitz. When a prisoner escaped, the prisoners in the camp would be punished. This was to discourage other prisoners from having even the notion of thinking about escaping (and also because they were just merciless bastards). On this occasion there were ten jews selected to be eliminated in the starvation bunker including Franciszek Gajowniczec who began sobbing for his wife and children. Maximilian stepped forward and asked to take this mans place. Oddly enough, the officer agreed and the priest was thrown down the stairs into the starvation bunker and left to starve. Whilst the other prisoners were gnawed at by their thirst and hunger (often drinking their own urine and licking the cold walls) the priest would pray.

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After two weeks only four of the ten were still alive.  The Nazis grew impatient as they needed the cells for more victims so an executioner was sent to inject a lethal dose of carbolic acid into each of the men. Maximilian was the last to die and whilst fully conscious, he lifted his arm to receive the shot. A true saint

Franciszek Gajowniczek survived to tell the story and died in 1995 at the age of 95.

After putting pen to paper, I finally managed to get some sleep. I won’t ever forget my visit nor will I forget the fluttering wings of the butterfly that danced past a gas chamber that day.

On another note; try to be respectful if you go. Taking pictures of you smiling next to a display case of glasses (or whatever) just makes you look like a fool.

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10 thoughts on “Haunting me – Auschwitz & Birkenau

  1. I remember visiting one of these death camps when I was 13, I was deeply disturbed and still am. How do humans get to this point? It is important to visit these camps, to know and to put faces to the thousands of Jews who where murdered, they all had a story to tell. We cant let them go unseen.

    • Wow, 13! I don’t know how I would have handled going at such a young age, I probably wouldn’t have been able to comprehend it back then. I totally agree about going though, I think I was just a bit afraid of putting a face (so to speak) to all the history that we only read about in books or see on a documentary. It’s an eye opener for sure.

  2. I visited Auschwitz in the winter when it was snowing. I couldn’t possibly imagine the conditions the prisoners were living in… It is a very powerful experience and an important lesson in history

  3. Wow, 13! I don’t know how I would have handled going at such a young age, I probably wouldn’t have been able to comprehend it back then. I totally agree about going though, I think I was just a bit afraid of putting a face (so to speak) to all the history that we only read about in books or see on a documentary. It’s an eye opener for sure.

  4. Such an emotional place – I’m glad I went. I remember being in a train carriage by myself all the way back to Krakow after dark. That was a bit eerie too!

    • I can imagine how eerie it was, especially after visiting the camps! I would have had all sorts of thoughts running through my head.

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